Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
