new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
