I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
