Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just had sex on a roof
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
