Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
