I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
