I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
