My nipple is on Facebook.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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