Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
