so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
