I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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