By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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