I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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