in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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