Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
