I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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