Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
