I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
