There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
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