i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Randomize
