proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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