$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
