Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
