worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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