i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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