Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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