id be glad to
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
