Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
