so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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