I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
