Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
