She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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