Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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