This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
