so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
