your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
whose ass print is on the piano?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
