The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize