I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
