How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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