is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
