My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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