DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
