drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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