Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
