I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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