Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
