big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's shark week go big or go home
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
