This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
