So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize