I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
