we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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