so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
