Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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