I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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