Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
