her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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