i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
