Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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