I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
