today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
